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Re: The Complete Renku
Villager
Joined:
2004/8/14 3:39
From Los Angeles
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It seems pretty good for a beginning attemp. There is that internal/external dynamic coupled with me trying to write the Chinese couplets in somewhat traditional modes (how well I did that I can't really say) and the haiku you wrote as taking positions outside the tradition as I understand it (still in the process of learning all there is to know). So I often felt like, "Man, how can I respond to this??" Plus we pretty much operated according to renga standards as far as responding. Normally renga poets are all gathered together and have about 3 minutes to respond to the prior verse; we responded to each other within 2 or 3 hours of each other. Lastly, it was a performance-type piece. People could see the sequence develop as each of us composed the stanzas and posted them on the board. Something new and interesting. Thanks for your help. We'll have to do this again-maybe a New Years' sequence perhaps.

I see other people looking at the complete renku; you're more than welcome to give commentary.

Posted on: 2004/9/4 16:22
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Re: The Complete Renku
Villager
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2003/7/26 13:48
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Although the traditional definition of Haiku is a little different than my typical postings... I really like to write Haiku as the format forces a boiled down, and usually symbolic - multi-meaning statement.

I really like how you can read a Haiku from top-to-bottom or bottom-to-top and it still works and can mean something else.

If you look at some of my other Haiku posts - like the palindromatic Haiku....

(although when I write Haiku and I refer to Human Mind, conscioussness, self etc.. I feel that this fits the rules of relating to nature. As I dont hold Nature outside of Self...)


Posted on: 2004/9/4 16:43
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Re: The Complete Renku
Villager
Joined:
2004/8/14 3:39
From Los Angeles
Group:
村民 :: Villager
Posts: 74
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I really would have liked to have included the characters; there were certain effects and techniques that got lost in the English translation. For example, I translated the sixth stanza the way I did because there's an ambiguity in the relation between the dream ending and the distant bell in Chinese. Is the dream ending because of the distant bell; is the dream ending with the ringing of a distant bell? In Chinese, you can read both into that line, but in English you have work really hard to maintain that ambiguity.

Posted on: 2004/9/5 0:37
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Benevolence is the heart of man, Right Action his path

-Mencius
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