The resources I've been meaning to post are -

Takeo Doi's books The Anatomy of Dependence and The Anatomy of Self. Not easy reads, but very insightful.

Easier reading, also by De Mente, is The Japanese Have a Word for It.

On another note, foreigners in Japan can set their Japanese hosts at ease by showing care and attention to Japanese manners with the universal baseline for human behaviour, sharing a meal. This 大人のマナー講座 Otona no manaa kouza, or Adult Manners Lessons, shows you the ideal way that an adult person behaves at the Japanese table. There are many dos and don'ts, and all of them have a reason. Just Hungry explains many of them here.