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When to 'draw the line'
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It seems we are always going to have individuals who will be offensive in their posts and though their words seek to intimidate others who post. This will probably be the reality of any site. The question then becomes what to do about it. When is it merely passion for your view and when does that change to a desire to cause intimidation and fear? How do we, each of us here, decide to accept or reject another's opinion? When and where do we draw the line on another's behavior?
For myself I will always seek to address the ideas stated and accept them or reject them based on my own experience. Knowing that others may have had additional experience in areas that I haven't, I would want to know upon what that poster based his/her viewpoint. It is the viewpoint that should be open for questioning and personalities should not enter into this discussion. Politicians have been for decades used the strategy of attacking the person when they really have no response for the issue. It is always a sleezy policy.
I believe it was Goebles the propaganda minister of Hitler who said that if you tell a lie long and forceful enough people will accept it as the truth. So when a lie is stated as fact, do we accept that or speak up against it? All it takes for "evil" to succeed is for good people to do nothing, so do we sit on the sidelines? This is a world we all have to live in and we are collectively and individually responsible for what happens here.
So the question again where do we draw the line, when is it needed to respond to discourteous and abusive behavior? Also what response should be given? I'm very interested in what other members feel about this, thanks for your ideas.

Posted on: 2011/10/7 4:01
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Ed Martin aka Papa-san
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Re: When to 'draw the line'
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Ed....you have sunk to a new low, here.

You're obviously not intelligent enough to be aware of the fact that you are mixing metaphors, so I suppose you simply can't comprehend just how offensive your post it.

My grandparents were born in Germany of Russian ancestry. During the third reich, my grandfather was separated from his family and placed in a gulag. My father escaped from the former Yugoslavia after witnessing many of his friends and family members slaughtered in front of his eyes.

That you so easily and carelessly reference fascist imagery in yet another pathetic attempt to leverage opinion in your favor is sickening and cowardly.

You are a loathsome and vile piece of excrement, Ed.

And your day is done.


- Mark Spada

Posted on: 2011/10/7 4:40
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Re: When to 'draw the line'
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I grew up pretty straight forward, old school style, and I am pretty much the same now. Ignore what problems don't really pertain or affect you, always stand up for what's right, know when someone or some thing is not worth your time and always, always, always have the stones to face adversity dead on when there is no other way around it or when that adversity is too big to simply let go by - even if it means having to take a hit.

Sometimes, the bigger picture is worth more than the moment. It's ok sometimes to just say "ok" instead of arguing with someone when you realize 'winning' really isn't that important. Emotion can confuse this logic.

It takes a level of maturity to know when enough is enough, and equally to know when someone just needs to 'shut up or put up'. Words are cheap and can only go so far. In the end, it's a man's choice of actions that bring respect to himself. What you do always speaks far louder than what you say.

If I had a real problem with somebody, then I would take it up with them personally. It's nobody else's business - nor should it ever be.

Those are my opinions.

Posted on: 2011/10/7 4:42
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Darren Dumas

I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, or in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend. ~ Thomas Jefferson
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Re: When to 'draw the line'
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Very well said, Darren.

I would only add that the Web, by it's very nature, tempts everyone to degrees of hyperbole we probably wouldn't express the same way if the forum involved the same people gathering face-to-face in an actual place.

I mean this not to say that one person would be 'afraid' of confronting another, just that the communication, for many reasons, will almost always be different.

Honestly, when was the last time there was an all-out brawl at Hombu or at a Daikomyosai? And yet those functions contain many people who, privately, disagree--drastically even--a great deal about a great many things.

We have so much more input, much that we are not even aware of, in a face-to-face encounter with a live human being than we do a paragraph or two of angry or otherwise challenging text. The presense of other people, their behavior and the unspoken expectations their collective behavior imply is also a mitigating factor. That factor in particular is very easy and perhaps even fun sometimes to defy on line, but is much more influential in everyday life.

Simply seeing the physical and emotional effect our words have on another does much to influence what we will say next. In real life, we don't have the luxury of composing a thought and then hitting <Return>.

It all happens in real time.



Posted on: 2011/10/7 5:40
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Re: When to 'draw the line'
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Thank you for a reasonable post Darren, that is what I was looking for, an honest expression of what is the appropriate response. I see the post immediately following mine was only another attack on me personally and quite frankly now I totally discount any thing that person says. If anyone else has suggestions on this problem that is faced and will again be, let me know your thoughts on this.
For you Mark, I had nothing to do with what happened to your father and grandfather and hold respect for what THEY went through. You are not your father or your grandfather and while i can't say for certain, I suspect that both held a considerably different attitude then you. When one has to struggle in Life what happens is one develops a lot more respect for what one has. It's called earning it. Usually too one learns to value others, something I think you have yet to learn.

Posted on: 2011/10/7 5:52
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Re: When to 'draw the line'
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Quote:
If anyone else has suggestions on this problem that is faced and will again be, let me know your thoughts on this.


It's okay to let the other person have the last word. Sometimes it hurts, but that's 'nin'.

Often times, letting an overly harsh and/or unfair statement simply stand on it's own is more effective in the long run than trying to fight it out and set the record straight.

People don't always draw the intended conclusion from any post, no matter how many times, how passionately or how creatively it is repeated.

In most cases, what we discuss on line says more about ourselves than whatever it is we're talking about.

Just some thoughts.

Posted on: 2011/10/7 6:42
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Re: When to 'draw the line'
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I really do not see the need for yet another of these treads. Why not just stay of line for a while and let things cool down.

As the tread starter said, tell a lie long enough and then people think it is the truth.... but who tells what lie?????


Posted on: 2011/10/7 7:44
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Re: When to 'draw the line'
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Mr. Wood, Mr. Dumas: wholeheartedly agree. Thanks.

Posted on: 2011/10/7 8:30
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Re: When to 'draw the line'
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Goran: it's not the basis of what one says but how one expresses it... and how one reacts in turn... that is the measure of a man.

Posted on: 2011/10/7 8:37
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Re: When to 'draw the line'
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Quote:

Gorang wrote:
I really do not see the need for yet another of these treads. Why not just stay of line for a while and let things cool down.




Because Ed Martin can’t stay off line.


- Mark Spada

Posted on: 2011/10/7 9:34
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