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First Mosquito
村長 :: Sonchou
Joined:
2003/1/24 17:34
From Chiba, Japan
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First Mosquito
2002.03.04

a drifting speck
floats gently
softly
into the training hall

wafting silently
towards the two forms
jousting, struggling, competing
carried on some unknown draft

entering the space around them
it is bouyed, buffeted
by the unseen currents
their movements create

drifting down down
around arms, between bodies
swept by swiftly-moving feet
innocent as a mite of dust

passing these rapids
the winged speck passes
floating onward to other space
the year's first mosquito in this place

Posted on: 2003/11/5 8:44
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Re: First Mosquito
Frequent Visitor
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2003/10/24 1:28
From Edison, NJ
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I like your poem
its message is quite nice -
next time I'm about to
swat some poor mosquito,
I will remember to
stop and think twice.

Posted on: 2003/11/5 9:11
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Hmmmm
Villager
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2003/1/29 8:39
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Is that the message in this poem?

ML

Posted on: 2003/11/5 16:09
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Re: Hmmmm
Frequent Visitor
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2003/10/24 1:28
From Edison, NJ
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I'm not sure, but when I saw the word "innocent", that's what I think may have sent me in that direction. I could very well be seeing what I want to see, as I have a habit of doing that quite a bit . Either way, a very nice piece of poetry, kouryuu.

Posted on: 2003/11/6 10:39
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Chaos vs reductionism
Deleted_
I wouldn't like to guess what it means, but I like the imagery:

- harmoneous movement within, and of, nature.

I found the movement (both of the imagery and the words themselves) calming.

Aside:

- In the scene depicted, can you 'hear' anything?

- What can you 'smell'?

- Apart from a mossie bite, what can you feel?

Ahh, good stuff.



Posted on: 2003/11/6 15:22
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Re: First Mosquito
Occasional Visitor
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2004/2/3 6:26
From Denver, Colorado
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I quite enjoyed this piece. Thank you.

Posted on: 2004/2/3 6:41
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Re: First Mosquito
Villager
Joined:
2004/2/17 7:23
From Vancouver, Canada
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Beautiful poem Kouryuu. Quite Serene...



Kerry

Posted on: 2004/3/29 2:29
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Measure twice, cut once.
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Re: First Mosquito
Village Old Timer
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2004/2/15 11:25
From oz
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good stuff

Posted on: 2004/3/30 22:17
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